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I think I've mentioned this before, but there is a certain type of person who is drawn to artistic creation because it allows for complete, god-like control. Because I mean, you're creating a world in your art, and you can decide exactly what that world is like. (incidentally, these people tend to not be particularly collaborative artists) So is it any wonder that so many cult leaders end up being artists?
Really bad artists? Because one of the things about valuing art as a means of control is that it no longer matters whether the art is any good, all the matters is that it's yours.
(btw, because i can imagine arguments starting about this: the definition of "cult" i am using here is "large, abusive polycule". that's kind of flippant but also kind of true--the thing that distinguishes cults, to me, is that they have all the dynamics of an abusive interpersonal relation, but scaled up.)
There are so many more of these, guys :(
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Charles Manson - Lie: The Love and Terror Cult (1970; recorded 1967-68)
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2/10
⭐⭐
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MILIEU: Southern California, 1960s
IDEOLOGY: The Beatles are sending me messages in their songs telling me to kill people.
DEATH TOLL: 9
TOP YOUTUBE COMMENT: "I really really like the first song.. has a lot of potential" (Alec Verse, 2022)
REVIEW:
The thing about Manson that always got me was: this guy was such an obvious loser, you know? Like, looking at him, it's so blatant what an absolute nothing this guy was. So how the hell did he get a bunch of teenage girls to kill people for him?
I actually have an answer for this, believe it or not: one of the most unfortunate quirks of humans, in their capacity as social animals, is that if we encounter someone who is utterly without self-doubt, we will automatically trust them. That's actually why a lot of demagogues are successful: we see someone who completely, genuinely believes what they are saying, even if that thing is absolute insanity, and there's a part of our brain, the "follow the pack leader" part, that is willing to do anything for them. The best liars believe their own lies. And people, like Manson, with severe delusions... well, a good number of those people end up really, really sure of themselves!
Anyway this is dumb hippie folk. My interest in freaked-out psychedelic happenings is basically nil right now, murders or no murders.
SEE ALSO: I've Been In this Town So Long that Back In the City I've Been Taken for Lost and Gone, aka "Endless Nine-Week Summer": 54 Albums Involving One or More Beach Boys
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L. Ron Hubbard - Space Jazz (1982)
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4/10
⭐⭐⭐⭐
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MILIEU: Southern California, 1960s (again lol)
IDEOLOGY: Psychological problems are all caused by the souls of dead aliens.
DEATH TOLL: At least 1, and likely many more.
TOP YOUTUBE COMMENT: "If this was from a SNES game this video would have 5 million views and people crying in the comments about how this game was their childhood and how they cried for all 45 minutes" (Zoe Grace Harris the First, 2021)
REVIEW:
On the one hand, it's kind of wild that this isn't the only Scientology album out there--off the top of my head, there's that one Edgar Winter album that Todd in the Shadows reviewed, and also To the Stars by Chick Corea, which I actually own on CD, I didn't know it was a Scientology thing when I bought it I swear. But on the other hand I'm kind of surprised there aren't more Scientology albums--I mean, courting Hollywood celebs is their big thing, and there are enough musical Scientologists out there. Why didn't we ever hear Isaac Hayes lay down some killer funk about Lord Xenu, or Beck sing "Soy un perdedor / I'm a loser baby / because of my Thetans".
I'm making stupid jokes because there's honestly not that much to say about this album. It's dopey showtunes, played on a Fairlight. I do have sort of an affection for this thing, but I'm not gonna say it's good. Occasionally there are extremely goofy vocals--I admit "The Mining Song" got a chuckle out of me. But here's the thing: the guy playing that Fairlight? Chick Corea! Who is usually an amazing, fluid, playful pianist, but here sounds like... well, I was surprised that there was a person playing these songs at all. I guess it just goes to show that composition actually matters.
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Dr. York - New (1987)
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5/10
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
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MILIEU: Georgia via Brooklyn, 1980s
IDEOLOGY: Black nationalism, ancient Egyptian paganism, and UFOs.
DEATH TOLL: None that I know of, but a lot of child molestation.
TOP YOUTUBE COMMENT: "Without listening hard you can hear the esoteric lyrics in every song. It's no coincidence the Al Khidir is sending out his love tones rocking his vibrational colors of Green & White. Hotep to Neb Atum RE. Much Love." (Aker AtunRE, 2020)
REVIEW:
Incredibly competent slow jams. Slot some cuts from this on a playlist between Kashif and Evelyn "Champagne" King and it won't really stand out.
Except... it kind of would? There's something empty about this which I can't really put my finger on. This is soul, but it doesn't really have soul, and I might venture to say that it doesn't have a soul.
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麻原彰晃 [Shoko Asahara] - シンセ音楽をたのしもう: 最聖麻原彰晃尊師のベスト26 - Let's Enjoy Synthesizer Music! (1992)
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2/10
⭐⭐
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MILIEU: Japan, 1990s
IDEOLOGY: Meditate hard enough and you can float.
DEATH TOLL: 13, plus 50 severe injuries.
TOP YOUTUBE COMMENT: "落ち込んだ時に聴くと救済されます。" (trans: "If you listen to it when you're depressed, you'll be saved.") (塩見, 2022).
REVIEW:
Lo-fi spa music--Japan produced a lot of great new age stuff, but this ain't it. I definitely can believe it's not Yen Records. Also, this thing is two hours long and Asahara's singing is terrible. I do, however, want to plug Haruki Murakami's book about the Tokyo sarin gas attack, which dares to ask the question: who's crazier, the cultist who releases poison gas in the subway, or the salaryman whose reaction to said poison gas is "shit, I'm gonna be late for work."
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Pope Francis - Wake Up! (2015)
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5/10
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
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MILIEU: Rome, 88 AD - Present
IDEOLOGY: Only by receiving the sacraments may mankind be saved from damnation.
DEATH TOLL: Innumerable. Also, even more child molestation.
TOP YOUTUBE COMMENT: "OverlySarcasticProductions anyone?" (joana gomes, 2018)
REVIEW:
Yo: all forms of Christianity are terrible, but I will say that one edge Catholicism has over Protestantism is that if you're a Catholic you generally don't have to deal with shit like this. Like, the standard line here is "lol, the Pope made a prog album", but for the most part this is actually praise and worship music. Like, this was giving me Hillsong Kids flashbacks. Just when I thought I was safe from Funny Man Dan.
But I will say: this is kind of good praise & worship music? I think the thing here really is that those RPI guys just know how to write good songs, especially in this kind of idiom, where you want something that's stirring and classically-influenced. Still. More than anything, this is just inexplicable. My initial theory was that this was a result of that time somebody gave the Pope a copy of Undertale, or that other time when the Pope listened to "Megalovania"--like maybe Pope Francis got really into Toby Fox and was inspired--but both of those happened after this album came out, so who knows.
God this is so stupid.
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Overall Ranking & Final Thoughts
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I'm honestly kind of surprised at how low I ended up rating all of these. Actually, trying to think of cult-related music that's actually good, the closest thing I can come up with is the 모란봉악단 [Moranbong Band] (if catholicism is a cute then juche is definitely one too). But then Kim Jong-Un didn't write those songs, so it arguable doesn't count. IDK.
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